We’re Never Going to Forget This So Stay Present

BY GERALYN GIORGIO

Geralyn Giorgio lives with depression and an eating disorder. She is a lifetime Jersey girl who currently lives in Middlesex and grew up in Old Bridge, New Jersey. She’s divorced and has two teenaged daughters. She’s worked for Johnson & Johnson for more than 20 years, and over the last five years, she’s been engaged with J&J transformational project teams leading change management and communications.

I’m a single mom, and I am going through this COVID-19 crisis with my two girls. One is 19 and home from Penn State and the other is a junior in high school. Like many moms, I worry about them getting sick, and that adds a layer to the challenge of this crisis. When things get hard, I remind myself that I’m never going to have time like this with them again.

This is a monumental time in the history of the world; we’re never going to forget this. While it can be overwhelming, recently I’ve been trying to be more present to what’s happening and how I’m feeling so that I can be more present with them and mark this time together.

For example, yesterday, I went down into the basement, sat cross-legged on my yoga mat, closed my eyes, and delved into the depression I was feeling. I tried to find the root cause of these feelings and determine what was happening with me. This exercise helps to bring up thoughts more naturally, without distractions, and then I can figure out what to do with them and answer the questions I need to answer: Why do I feel this way? Why am I reacting like I’m reacting? Or, what do I need right now?

Seek support when you need it

I take medication and that has been incredibly helpful for me. During this crisis, it’s important to maintain the schedules and treatments that work. If people are struggling with depression or anxiety, I suggest they speak to a psychologist or psychiatrist—so many resources are available through telemedicine and seeing someone who’s trained in this work can be very beneficial. Sometimes a diagnosis can be helpful, along with a medically sound treatment plan.

It’s important for people to treat mental illness the same way they’d treat a physical illness. See a professional and get help when you need it. When you’re dealing with something like depression, people often offer platitudes, as if it’s something that someone can just “shake off.” They suggest you get up and go walk the dog or work out.

It just doesn’t work that way. Would you say that to someone with cancer? No, you’d suggest they go and see a doctor and get treatment. Mental health needs to be taken just as seriously.

Reach out and be available

Early in the crisis, I found myself going back into the valley of darkness. I can tell this slipping is happening when I stop working out, don’t take showers, wear the same clothes over and over, or don’t watch what I’m eating. I have an eating disorder, so when I eat because I’m anxious or eat out of sync with what my body needs, that’s a sign things are not ok. That’s when I realize I have to do something about it.

I then get more intentional about reaching out to people, because otherwise I start isolating myself. I lead the Mental Health Diplomats employee resource group at Johnson & Johnson. This morning, we had a Zoom meeting with all our members—we called it an open mic session. We had more than 200 people on the call and I was surprised how amazing it was just seeing everybody’s beautiful faces. We were able to break out into separate rooms so people could have more intimate conversations about what they were going through, how they were feeling, and what strategies are they using. This has helped to stop the downhill slide.

It’s so important to know that you have people available who are willing to just be there—not offering advice or “trying to help.” Just being present. Even if it’s to do something simple like watch movies together on separate couches. This is especially important for people who are living alone. If you’re starting to feel isolated, reach out to people who will listen and be there for you. On the other hand, if a friend or loved one who is struggling—and most of us are these days—reaches out to you, remember that they probably don’t need advice. Most people need someone to listen and be present.  

Stay active

Physical activity has always been incredibly helpful for me. I am a fitness instructor and I teach Insanity at Johnson & Johnson. If you don’t know what Insanity workouts are, consider yourself lucky. They’re intense. But of course, right now these classes are on hold. So, I bike and run just to keep my body fit and my mind mentally fit.

I try to do some yoga and meditation when I have the patience for it. I like vigorous exercise, but I’m getting better at being still. Deep breathing and centering myself is important. My daughters and I go out for walks and I’m grateful that’s possible. I know other countries have more strict lockdowns and aren’t even able to be outside.

Give back

Giving back also really helps. I’m a Certified Professional Coach and I participate in a nonprofit called One-to-One that provides coaching to women who are low-income. I donate my time to coach someone every six months or so. This volunteering is beneficial for me because it’s important to know that I’m making a difference in people’s lives. Giving back brings me out of myself.

It’s been incredible to watch empathy grow during this crisis. I am noticing that people are much more authentic at work. We tend to be very professional and find it easy to slip into corporate speak. But being on camera, catching glimpses of people’s lives and families, hearing how they talk to their pets and bring them into the camera, it’s just so human. When I see these things, it just feels like a kinder world. I’m hoping that’s going to continue after this.

We will get through this. We need to take it one day at a time, but that’s really all we can ever do.

---

Illustration by pch.vector – www.freepik.com