BY CAM STOUT
The mental illness and substance abuse crises in our country are no secret. One in five U.S. adults experiences mental illness each year. Twenty-five percent of students have a diagnosable mental health condition.[1] Compounding the problem, millions of Americans keep their mental health issues secret, understandably fearing the possible backlash of the stigma that thrusts these health conditions behind the dark curtain of denial and despair. Although increasingly effective therapies and self-care strategies are available, the trick is to help those in need get over the wall of social prejudice to appropriate treatment resources.
It is not easy. The number of people who do not get diagnosed, let alone treated, is daunting.[2] Forty percent of students in our country do not seek help for mental health conditions. Stigma and its henchmen, shame and denial, will only be defeated when enough people come to understand that mental health conditions are just that, health conditions, nothing more, and nothing less. They are not weakness of character, or lack of willpower. As that understanding spreads, more and more people will share their stories as I and thousands of others do, and the wall of stigma will erode.
I have waged my own fight against serious mental illness and the social prejudice that surrounds it. In late 2012, I sank into a major depressive episode. It forced me to take a medical leave of absence from my law partnership, and to admit myself to the psychiatric ward of a hospital.
People who cared about me became understandably frustrated. “Cam, what’s the matter with you?” they’d ask. “You have a great life. Buck up! Be happy again!” While well-intentioned, this “advice” made me feel worse. It amplified the already intense shame I felt. No one wanted me to be happy more than I did. What was wrong with me? The answer: I had a serious illness. Several different modes of therapy, the love of friends and family, and my own effective self-care and hard work actively managing my depression helped me feel better in many ways than I ever have.
Five years ago, I started sharing my story of healing and hope to audiences around the country. At first, I was scared that others would scorn me if I “came out.” Aren’t they going to tell me that I should have been tougher, “owned” my issues, and willed myself to be happy? No. In fact, my experience has been exactly the reverse. The vast majority of people who listen to my journey tell me I’m brave, and that my story has given them the courage to tell theirs. It never ceases to amaze me how many people have stories to tell. Be a storyteller. You have no idea whom or in what ways you will help. But you will.
We also need to learn how to recognize the signs, obvious or subtle, of possible mental health or substance use issues in ourselves and others. More schools and organizations are offering this training. Yet, it can still be difficult to figure out if we are feeling, for example, temporary sadness, or a more serious depressive episode.
If at all possible, see a qualified health-care provider. Get diagnosed and, if appropriate, help. There is zero shame in that. After all, when you have a significant injury or illness, you go see a doctor. I’m profoundly grateful that I pushed back against stigma and sought treatment.
Six years ago, as I was slowly healing and finding the true me again, I began to use a number of self-care strategies. I now practice them daily. The resilient structure of my mental and physical wellness sits solidly on these foundations:
- I exercise every day. (I’d write these four words in seventy-two point font if I had room.) It doesn’t take all that much effort. Regular, moderate exercise can be as effective as anti-depressant medications.[3]
- I have recruited what I call a SEAL (Supportive, Energizing And Loving) Team. Mine includes a mentor, my cycling coach, my therapist, our pastor, and friends and family members whom I trust with my life. We have each other’s backs. No one on our team gets left behind.
- I see a counselor. In my humble opinion, I think just about everyone could benefit from spending time periodically with a mental wellness professional.
- Because of my significant depression, I was prescribed an anti-depressant. It works, I am grateful for it, and I make sure I take it every day. Again, zero shame in that.
- I practice mindfulness. As with most folks who meditate, my attention often slides around like a Bernese Mountain dog on ice. That’s meditation for you.
- I nurture my faith and spirituality. Part of that practice is to say the serenity prayer every morning. It applies to everything that life offers up.
- I work in the service of others. What at first blush sounds like a chore, usually turns out to be a joy and a privilege. When you encounter a homeless person, look him or her in the eye and say hello. That simple act of loving kindness will bring you both a bit of dignity, grace, and respect.
- I recharge. There are many ways to do this. I ride my bike a lot. I do my best to duck out of the smartphone circus tent periodically. Getting at least eight hours of sleep is the most important slice of the twenty-four hour pie. When I have trouble falling asleep, I say this soothing New Zealand prayer:
It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done.
What has not been done has not been done.
Let it be; the night is for stillness and rest.
An attorney and mediator, Cam has now spoken publicly to over seventy audiences about his journey through a major depressive episode in 2013. In 2018, Cam founded Stout Heart, Inc., a 501c3 nonprofit. Its mission is to obtain charitable funding to support Cam’s efforts to share his inspiring story of resilient recovery with students and educators, first responders, veterans, and people living on the margins of society.
[1] http://www.bestcolleges.com/resources/top-5-mental-health-problems-facing-college-students/
[2] Id., http://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers
[3] http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/exercise-and-mental-health. I also recommend that you read The Exercise Cure by Dr. Jordan Metzl.