BY ADAM TEWELL
Adam Tewell lives with schizoaffective disorder and has managed symptoms of depression, anxiety, and psychosis. He lives in Arlington, Virginia with his wife and two children and works on global health issues. His simple strategies of managing his mental health over the years have made a seismic difference in his life during COVID-19 and we hope they will help you as well.
The most difficult part of this crisis for me is the uncertainty and lack of control. Like most people, I started 2020 with plans for the year—everything from major work-related goals to weekend getaways. It’s incredibly frustrating to set aside these well-laid plans.
However, having been through decades of therapy, hospitalizations, and other situations where my life was thrown into uncertainty—I have a framework to accept the uncertainty and realize I’ve come through situations like this before. It has been a challenge for some of my friends who have had more stable, organized lives to deal with and accept this lack of control. It’s still frustrating, but I can say, “This crisis is bad, but I’ve felt this way before, and I know that I come out okay on the other side.”
Recognize and accept your experience
When I was going through the most challenging times of my life, what ultimately allowed me to manage my mental health condition was the acceptance that it was something that I had to manage. Once I accepted that, I could pay closer attention to my moods and how I’m feeling day-to-day—and managing hallucinations, anxiety, and other symptoms that can create turmoil for me.
For those of you who are struggling now, acknowledging that this is an irregular time and try not to fight the scenario or your reactions to it. Accept that the responses you’re having—increased anxiety, depression, whatever they are—are okay. There’s not a right, wrong, or illegitimate thing you can feel. Be honest with what you’re upset about and verbalize that.
Don’t make comparisons
The next step is to not compare yourself with the way others are feeling. I spent a long time trying to figure out what level of agitation was “normal” and what was my illness. In the end, this wasn’t productive. The feelings still need to be addressed, whether normal or not.
Find time and space to process feeling
After accepting my reactions, I find a way to process them. I do a lot of self-check-ins especially when I start getting agitated. Going for walks is a great way to work through some of this stuff. I’ll usually take a 10-minute walk at lunch, just to sort out how the day is going. I don’t always have something tough to work through on these walks, sometimes I just think about my work projects and what the next steps could be. But setting aside time each day allows for space to reflect when I need it.
This increased engagement with my day-to-day feelings and moods helps me recognize when things start to go off-course. For example, I do not downshift well. Many people feel increased pressure when things pick up at work, but I tend to enjoy fast-paced, chaotic situations. It’s the drop back down to a slower pace that has caused me to crash and burn in the past. Knowing this now, I can be more prepared. That doesn’t mean I’ll always be able to avoid all the effects, but I’m able to mitigate them.
I suggest finding ways to process feelings that fit into your daily life and paying close attention to what situations lead to more agitation. You may not be able to avoid those situations under our current restrictions, but maybe you can take whatever space you need to process and avoid a total spin out.
Be forgiving with yourself
Another huge piece of maintaining mental health through this crisis is to be forgiving with yourself. We all need to realize we’re not necessarily going to accomplish everything we want to. Set goals and push yourself to achieve things if that motivates you, just forgive yourself if the circumstances get in the way.
Maybe you won’t finish that online course you signed up for—or even start it. Maybe you won’t be able to keep a perfect school schedule for your children. Again, this isn’t normal life. It’s okay to set a goal with the realization that you might not fully succeed, in fact, I think this is a sign that you’re willing to accept the uncertainty of right now. This acceptance and forgiveness will help you adjust to whatever gets thrown at you along the way.
Stay engaged with your community
For me being engaged with my family, friends, and community helps keeps me stable; both providing and receiving support. Reach out and stay in touch. It’s important for people with mental health challenges to stay engaged in their lives. Having friends who reach out to talk—even when you don’t feel like talking—is very important.
My illness manifests, as it does for many people, in uneven cycles. I can go for months without any issues and then have a very difficult period. I am very grateful that I have experienced extended periods of stability. I know not everyone has that.
You can also help people who are struggling to recognize this won’t last forever. Having friends and family project that there can be a return to normalcy is important—that a time will come when we can do more things we enjoy again.
Looking forward
In preparing myself for the future, I’ve accepted that we’re not going back to exactly the way things were before; a new normal will emerge and that will be okay. We will lose some things, but opportunities will come out of this as well. We need to be prepared and flexible to accept what the future brings.
Also, I’m hopeful that this communal experience will influence how society collaborates and even how we think about mental health. You don’t need a clinical diagnosis to find this experience distressing, so maybe more neurotypical people will have a better understanding of what it feels like to be someone who regularly faces mental health challenges. We could all benefit from more understanding of and compassion for each other.